~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*kriya to her inner voice ~ her shadow~ *
A film of tears and a fresh flood of helplessness filled her belly and kriya struggled to swallow as she pounded her fist on the ground. "This is cruel," she hissed between clenched teeth. "You're taking me away from my happiness .
My only living relative and you're making me … work for you! Has it occurred to you that
I'm alone ...alone to blurt my heart out ? I'm not old enough to … to do whatever you think I should do!
I'm not old enough!" ... fighting wid her own thoughts ...perhaps wid herself !!
n her shadow laughed at her ... "kriya u hv nthing wid u nw ... u are alone ... !??????? n u deserve it ...!!! n her
shadow laughed at her ...her ...on mer miserable state!
~
~~
having no reasons to smile ... no reasons to get out n mix up wid the strangers ...ya dose ppl whome she used to c doing thier respective comotions !!!
dis was it !!
have blurt out evrything to myself but that feeling of guilt ... guilt to betray my love is still there ...
have given thousands of reasons ...to myself ...but my shadow ...always laughs at me ... fr making my life hell ...!!!
i cud feel evrythingh around me ... trying hard to make me smile ...a litle but my ...soul deny evry pleasure !!...
i'm boiling with rage and yet i mustn't show it . I'd like to stamp my feet , scream , give mum a good shaking cry , and
I dont know what else , because of the horrible words frm my shadow , mocking looks , and
accusations which are leveled at me repeatedly every day , and find their mark , like shafts from a tight strung bow ,
and which are just as hard to draw from my body ...!!!
shaking my head evry time when m alone esp. at night ... fr taking dat desponding shadow of mines away frm me " leave me in peace ,!
let me sleep one night at least without my pillow being wet with tears , my eyes burning and my head throbbing .
let me get away from it all , preferably away frm the world !! "
{ in nxt stanza they refers to the ppl she loved the most !!!! }
but i cant do that , they mustn't know my despair , i cant let dem see the wounds which i have caused , teeling dem wat i felt ... it would
only make me want to scream all the more !!
i try to laugh it all off , because i dont want to let them see my trouble . more than once aftr a whole string of undeserved rebukes i hv flared up
at myself ...' i am happy ...(sobbing ) n satisfied !!!!
i want all back ...asap ...but this dream is not gonna b true at any cost n i will make sure i dont bug up more lives !!
... m not a cheater !! n will b yours only ... rey ...!!! even i hv to b like dis fr my whole life !!
i pray every day that u must get thousands of reason evry day to smile n cherish !!
its dat i will b loving u till my last breath ... till my last heart beat !!!!!!!
heart beat of the heart that resides beside your heart wether u know or not but i know dat it will b wid u only !! forevr !!!
my soul is impure !!!!! impure without your fragrance of love !!!!!!!
but i want it to b dis way only !!
wanna scrap my heart untill m satisfied ! satisfied frm the punishment which should be given to me !!!!
wanna get prisoned in my room foreva ...!!
n as being a prisoners den i will b counting every day passing me by ...
counting no. of times the sun rose ... rose in life of oder ppl ... waiting fr it to shine in my balcony too ...
shine in my eyes too ...!!
waiting fr dat day ...
n will b waiting fr it till the last second of close of the chapter of my life !!!!!!!!!!!!
i deserve this !
m rude ...!! n my shadow is right evry time ...!!!!! dat m useless !!!!!
no !!!!! m not useless !!! no m not !!!!!!!!
denying all the voices frm my beatless heart !!!!!!!!!! finding answers of questions dat scrached my wounds evry day !!!
i love u !!!!!! n always will b loving u !!!!!!!!!!!
n hope i get peace !!!!!!!! which i cud get frm my strieving beatless heart which is wid u !!!!!!!! wid u frm the day i decided to choose dis mere
painfull life !!!!!!!!!!!
will b loving u foreva !!!!!! no matters i may b alive or not but i will b loving u till the world ends !!!!!!!!!
your n only yours ...
kriya ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*kriya to her inner voice ~ her shadow~ *
A film of tears and a fresh flood of helplessness filled her belly and kriya struggled to swallow as she pounded her fist on the ground. "This is cruel," she hissed between clenched teeth. "You're taking me away from my happiness .
My only living relative and you're making me … work for you! Has it occurred to you that
I'm alone ...alone to blurt my heart out ? I'm not old enough to … to do whatever you think I should do!
I'm not old enough!" ... fighting wid her own thoughts ...perhaps wid herself !!
n her shadow laughed at her ... "kriya u hv nthing wid u nw ... u are alone ... !??????? n u deserve it ...!!! n her
shadow laughed at her ...her ...on mer miserable state!
~
~~
having no reasons to smile ... no reasons to get out n mix up wid the strangers ...ya dose ppl whome she used to c doing thier respective comotions !!!
dis was it !!
have blurt out evrything to myself but that feeling of guilt ... guilt to betray my love is still there ...
have given thousands of reasons ...to myself ...but my shadow ...always laughs at me ... fr making my life hell ...!!!
i cud feel evrythingh around me ... trying hard to make me smile ...a litle but my ...soul deny evry pleasure !!...
i'm boiling with rage and yet i mustn't show it . I'd like to stamp my feet , scream , give mum a good shaking cry , and
I dont know what else , because of the horrible words frm my shadow , mocking looks , and
accusations which are leveled at me repeatedly every day , and find their mark , like shafts from a tight strung bow ,
and which are just as hard to draw from my body ...!!!
shaking my head evry time when m alone esp. at night ... fr taking dat desponding shadow of mines away frm me " leave me in peace ,!
let me sleep one night at least without my pillow being wet with tears , my eyes burning and my head throbbing .
let me get away from it all , preferably away frm the world !! "
{ in nxt stanza they refers to the ppl she loved the most !!!! }
but i cant do that , they mustn't know my despair , i cant let dem see the wounds which i have caused , teeling dem wat i felt ... it would
only make me want to scream all the more !!
i try to laugh it all off , because i dont want to let them see my trouble . more than once aftr a whole string of undeserved rebukes i hv flared up
at myself ...' i am happy ...(sobbing ) n satisfied !!!!
i want all back ...asap ...but this dream is not gonna b true at any cost n i will make sure i dont bug up more lives !!
... m not a cheater !! n will b yours only ... rey ...!!! even i hv to b like dis fr my whole life !!
i pray every day that u must get thousands of reason evry day to smile n cherish !!
its dat i will b loving u till my last breath ... till my last heart beat !!!!!!!
heart beat of the heart that resides beside your heart wether u know or not but i know dat it will b wid u only !! forevr !!!
my soul is impure !!!!! impure without your fragrance of love !!!!!!!
but i want it to b dis way only !!
wanna scrap my heart untill m satisfied ! satisfied frm the punishment which should be given to me !!!!
wanna get prisoned in my room foreva ...!!
n as being a prisoners den i will b counting every day passing me by ...
counting no. of times the sun rose ... rose in life of oder ppl ... waiting fr it to shine in my balcony too ...
shine in my eyes too ...!!
waiting fr dat day ...
n will b waiting fr it till the last second of close of the chapter of my life !!!!!!!!!!!!
i deserve this !
m rude ...!! n my shadow is right evry time ...!!!!! dat m useless !!!!!
no !!!!! m not useless !!! no m not !!!!!!!!
denying all the voices frm my beatless heart !!!!!!!!!! finding answers of questions dat scrached my wounds evry day !!!
i love u !!!!!! n always will b loving u !!!!!!!!!!!
n hope i get peace !!!!!!!! which i cud get frm my strieving beatless heart which is wid u !!!!!!!! wid u frm the day i decided to choose dis mere
painfull life !!!!!!!!!!!
will b loving u foreva !!!!!! no matters i may b alive or not but i will b loving u till the world ends !!!!!!!!!
your n only yours ...
kriya ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No comments:
Post a Comment